Friday, February 20, 2009

Originally Posted Friday, March 23, 2007 I FOUND IT!!! Now may I present: Idiocracy and Farce of the Penguins: A Review

Movie Review: Idiocracy and Farce of the Penguins

Ok, Idiocracy had the same opening feel as BASEketballs, and I really did like that movie. Just suspend reality at the door. Check. TWOP would probably recommend heavy drinking. I'm ok w/ that. Check.

Plot Synopsis:

Evolution works on the best, right? Well, humans are at the top of the food chain, so now it's not a question of best, but of who breeds the fastest. So, who are your really smart friends? They don't have any kinds. Your kinda smart friends only have one, maybe two. Now, look at your friend who has an alcohol or drug problem. That is on welfare and can't be bothered to get off of it. Your friend who has more kid than they can take care of. THOSE are the genes that are being passed on.

Scary, huh?

Joseph was an Average guy (Average Joe, get it?!!?) in some branch of the armed forces (Army? Shrugs, doesn't matter) who's special talents are: no children, wife, parents or close friends who will ask questions if something happens. The girl (who's name I've already forgotten) is a prostitute who's agreed to go through with this 'cause they are going to drop charges. She, of course, tells Joe that she's a painter and that her pimp is her boyfriend/manager. This leads to many snicker jokes further on down the line.

These 2 get put in suspended animation for what is supposed to be a year, but is actually 500. Humankind has dumbed down to the point of where a Gatorade company has bought the FDA and convinced the world that water is only for toilet bowls. It's also in the water supply… that irrigates the crops. So there is a food shortage.

Justice is Judge Judy to the nth degree.

Well, after taking an IQ test, Joe is declared the smartest person in the world, and is put in as the Secretary of the Interior. (The Prez, of course, is the guy who kicks the most butts at a WWF type election)

And on, and on, and on.

I recommend watching this movie w/ a bunch of your friends, preferably while drinking. It's not worth re-watching (like BASEketballs is) over and over immediately, but maybe in a week or 3, or when I'm getting another friend to watch it to watch their reaction.

Farce of the Penguins

Don't show this to the kids unless you want to answer a LOT of questions you didn't think you'd have to answer until… college or something. LOL It's narrated by Samuel L. Jackson (who mentions a time or two that he's not getting paid enough for this) and has Bob Saget (Mr. Tanner of Full House fame) as the lead voice and producer. Which, by the way, if you only know him as Mr. Tanner, he is a dirty, dirty penguin. If you've been disabused of this "Mr. Tanner crap" before (as in maybe… The Aristocrats?!?!) you already know he's a dirty, dirty penguin. Again, not a movie for kids. There is a star studded cast, and I think a lot of friends of friends got in on it. This is actual penguin footage that has been pieced together. I'd recommend you start drinking at the start of the movie, and then keep drinking, 'cause it gets really slow towards the middle/end.


So, there are these penguins. And the males are at the water, eating. And talking about how they have an eating disorder 'cause they binge and then don't eat for 6 months… And now they are getting ready to head back to the main area, 70 miles away so that they can have sex. All except for one. That one wants a meaningful relationship. And they talk about sex. And food. And occasionally bowel movements. And it's, somehow, frickin' hilarious! Up until the middle, but once boy and girl meet, it kinda goes downhill. It's like they wanted to offend everyone that they could and now they've run out of material. (with this group, it seems unlikely, but maybe this is when they passed the bong around the writer's room) And then they thrown in some accidental anal sex (I'm not going to go into the details,) but that's not really funny, either. And then the women leave and the men stay with the eggs, and it's ok funny, but not really.

And then the two friends become friends again, and they talk about getting old and how awesome penguins look when they are old compared to, oh, say, turtles, 'cause have you ever seen a turtle with a walker? AND IT CUTS TO THESE 2 TURTLES HAVING SEX EXCEPT IT LOOKS LIKE ONE IS BEING USED AS A WALKER AND THE MALE TURTLE KEEPS GETTING ALL THESE PORNO FACE CLOSE UPS AND HE'S MAKING FUNNY TURTLE ORGASM FACES AND THE VOICE OVER IS AN OLD GUY GOING "EEEENNNNNHHHH" AND IT'S SO EFFIN FUNNY!!!!

And then it goes back to ok humor.

I recommend that you watch this movie w/ a bunch of friends and a bottle or 3, and start drinking slowly, and then heavier as the movie goes on. Or, stay sober for the first bit, and watch your friends.

No, really, I do recommend this. I have a feeling it may be like that Waiting movie that no one had seen, and then, suddenly, EVERYone in town had seen.

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